Saturday, March 15, 2008

Flowers are not enough

Prague is a beautiful and wonderful place, and an easy place to help you forget other things. A family friend passed away earlier this week and I am torn between the two worlds in which I seem to be living. One holds everything new and shiny and draws my attention like a moth to a flame, and the other is caught in a moment of grief that I share and yet am separated from. I am not accustomed to death. Of the things I have experienced in my short life, it is not one that has come up very often. I find it difficult to fathom that someone I have known all my life, who I have seen almost every holiday that I can remember, whose son I apparently had my first "co-ed" sleep-over with (when we were toddlers), who is one of "the dads" as I have always thought of them, is gone. His family is part of my family. He was dearly loved, and he will be sorely missed.
As I leave for spring break today, I know that all of this will leave my mind. I will remember from time to time, but push it away. I wish I knew a way to hold him in my memory without tears and without such a sense of loss. I wish I could be there with our family of friends, if only for a moment, to truly acknowledge that loss. But I don't know a way to do that, and I can't be there with them, so I will focus on all of the new and shiny things that Europe has to offer me. Kelsey and I leave for Budapest this afternoon, and will meet up with Dylan who we met in Paris and went to Versailles with. After that we plan to go to Bratislava and Vienna. We may also travel around the Czech Republic, either in southern Bohemia or central Moravia.

For Ed:
May the road rise to meet you.
May the wind always be at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
and rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of His hand.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Oh, sweetheart. The flowers you sent were beautiful, and you have been much in our thoughts.

Have a wonderful time!

Love,
Mom